An Expat Partner's Story
Nestled between two seaports on the Western coast of France, a young girl grew up in a tiny town surrounded by more bovines than people.
Like many young children, for Armelle Perben school was an exciting retreat filled with novelty and friends, all except for one subject: English.
And like many young children her ennui and apathy for the drudgery of English class lead her to an ultimatum: if she ever had children, she vowed, they would be bilingual so that they wouldn’t have to be subjected to learning English.
As is the irony of life, at the age of 19, Armelle had the opportunity to work as an au pair….in England.
Despite her earlier misgivings for the language, the promise of adventure, unfamiliarity, and surprise nudged her onto a plane and the experience left a taste for exploration. She would spend the next years of her life chasing that high as she began to study catering.
The world of food is fast-paced and highly unpredictable, especially managing people as a Chef de Rang.
For 6 years Armelle navigated the kitchens and dining rooms of some of the world’s best restaurants, two of which were awarded Michelin stars. However, the life of a gourmand is not always glamourous, filled with long hours and high pressure.
Serendipitously, the creeping doubts for her current position coincided with meeting the man she would later call husband and her desire for a more “normal” life tipped the scales for a fresh start.
Armelle with a partner in crime, and a restless joie de vivre, the pair journeyed into the unknown flipping their entire lives and moving to Zhenjiang, China, a tiny town of 1 million inhabitants.
The move to China triggered a series of adventures that had them hopping from China to Malaysia and from Vietnam to Bénin and India. Traveling the world and experiencing different cultures and languages was exactly what Armelle craved.
However, over time the composition of their life slowly morphed from a duet into a round.
“Following” her husband to various countries, she struggled to maintain enough stability to find purpose.
During intermittent periods when they returned to France, Armelle was able to obtain her Masters of International Business Negotiation. Putting her international experience to good use she even completed 1/3 of her courses in Mandarin/Cantonese(?).
Yet, when they took off to another country, her degree was not easily employable. She often ran into circumstantial hurdles, like not being able to work in India and lack of job opportunities for someone who can only commit 2-3 years, or sociocultural barriers, like where and how to start looking for a position, and absence of an established network.
The only jobs she was able to procure were typically teaching French. Yet, out of the difficult circumstances she ultimately found her passion.
For 10 years Armelle worked as an expat teaching French in various countries, living in grand homes, and eventually having 4 beautiful children.
Her younger self would have smiled at the rarely kept childhood promise of her kids becoming bilingual. Yet, despite the comfort of her lifestyle, being the spouse of the sought after “talent” presented its own unique set of challenges.
Having to constantly start anew, find a new school for your children, make new friends, and try to understand often overlooked cultural differences like where to buy meat, began to become tiresome.
On a personal level tensions arose between her and her husband as their lifestyle differences began to cause friction. When he returned home from work, he wanted to stay in while she, having stayed home all day, was ready to go out and meet new people.
The dissonance in expectations of your partner, your lifestyle, and ultimately of yourself can create a sense of isolation and unhappiness.
​
And that’s how Absolutely French was born. Armelle’s experiences armed her with the unique ability to understand how difficult integrating into a new society can be.
Since she taught French in many different countries, often creating her own curriculum, she witnessed firsthand the effectiveness of learning a new language and culture through activities and ultimately friendship.
Today, her goal is to fill the gap, by being a resource for expatriates where they can learn the culture, language and most importantly have fun doing so. Whether it be learning how to optimize your CV for the country you’re applying in or finding a great restaurant, at Absolutely French you’ll absolutely feel at home.
​
Titre du site
